The defending World Champion St. Louis Cardinals, who entered the day trailing the Cincinnati Reds by seven games in the National League Central have been desperately needing power hitting since losing Albert Puljois in the free agent market last season. Josh Hamilton, The American League MVP last year, is batting 288 with 31 homers and 96 RBIs as of August 12.
The trade, however, didn't involve a St. Louis player or players. The trade was for the St. Louis Gateway Arch.
St. Louis Mayor, Francis G. Slay, agreed to let the Cardinals have the Gateway Arch so they could trade it for a home run hitter. Slay said, "The Arch has been an integral part of St. Louis history -- but so has the home run. We have always had a tradition of great power hitters like Stan Musial, Mark McQuire, Albert Puljois. We even had Roger Maris, although he was past his prime. Our citizens expect power. We lost Anheuser-Busch but we survived. I'm sure we can survive without the Arch. Besides, every time a picture of St. Louis gets shown nationally, it is of the Arch. I think we have other sites here that deserve attention."
While Hamilton is scheduled to arrive in St. Louis next week, the Arch will not arrive in Texas until next season. Slay said, "If the Cardinals come back and are champions again this will look like a great move, if not, we may be second-guessed."
The Arch will be moved in sections. It is not sure exactly where in Texas the Arch will be placed but Texas Governor Rick Perry said, "Texas is a really big place. I'm sure we will be able to find a place to fit the Arch. We aren't sure if we are going to call it the Gateway to The South or The Gateway to the North. If we place it close enough to the Mexican border it can be called The Gateway to the North and can offer a beacon of hope to illegal aliens coming up from Mexico. On second thought, we probably won't call it a 'gateway', at all. It's more like a big 'ol, Texas-sized horse shoe. 'Course, it's upside down for a proper Good Luck horse shoe. We're gonna have to find a way to turn it right-side up. I'll make a call to A&M this afternoon and get one of their nerds on it."
Cardinals manager, Mark Matheny, is thrilled to receive Hamilton and says, "That was a great move by our ownership and it was great for the city to bite the bullet and help us out. Maybe we can trade The Eads Bridge and get another pitcher to help down the stretch."
When asked why the city is not helping their NFL franchise, St. Louis Rams, Slay said bluntly, "Because the Rams suck. We could trade half the city and they still wouldn't have a decent defense."