The Diggerer

LINCOLN COUNTY- WV State Police are looking for suspects that have been vandalizing cemeteries in several WVa counties. Vandals are reportedly placing political stickers on tombstones that read, "I AM DEAD AND I VOTE".  The stickers also have the tag line, "Paid for by the 2012 West Virginia Democrat Zombie Coalition."  Police also reported finding a few Obama 2012 stickers.

In anticipation of the November election, Madam Secretary of State, Natalie Tennant, held a press conference in the Capitol Rotunda this week to discuss the non-issue of Voter Fraud in West Virginia.

Guyandotte W.V.-- Sources have indicated that the International Zombie Alliance have revealed they will be invading the town of Guyandotte W.V. located on the Ohio River.

As we head into the weekend, I want to show you a short video on how to put everything together that we have talked about so far.

Today we want to talk about securing your position. As with every tip I have written it will differ according to your location. I am going to use my home as example. You can take my plan and apply it to any home.

I feel I have done you all a disservice. If you are still alive and reading this then I apologize. The very first thing I should have told you when making your plan is that you need a handbook. This is not just any handbook it's the most important hand book when dealing with the undead. It is the Zombie Survival Guide. So if you still have a beating heart, please do yourself a favor and pick up this handbook.

Today instead of talking about weapons again I want to talk about transportation. Don't worry we will talk about the skull smashing melee weapons before this week is over.

So far we have covered having a plan and the supplies you need in your plan. Yesterday I touched on weapons but only to tell you that you need to have them in your survival plan. Today we are going to go over the different type of weapons.

Yesterday, I gave you a jolt of reality and gave you the essentials you need to make a plan. Today, we are going to talk about supplies. This is in no way an comprehensive list. As before, I will give you links to the American Red Cross website where they can bore you with the details.  And of course, adjust accordingly to your needs and surroundings.

Here at the Diggerer we want to keep you safe. With the recent Zombie sightings in West Virginia we have decided now is the time to teach you to survive. Without further ado we would like to introduce you to our newest feature by Shepherd University Professor, Dr. Pat Hogen: