EDITOR'S NOTE: This is an actual report sent in by a reader of TheDiggerer.com. While we strive to offer the best fake and entertaining WV news possible -- when necessary we will print the truth -- particularly when other news organizations would shy away from an particularly odd story. This is one such story. Names have been withheld to protect the innocent.
True story that all happened on the evening of June 7, 2012 at a hospital that shall remain nameless, but was in the "General" area of downtown.
There I sat in a packed ER waiting to see my elderly mother who has been in and out of the hospital most of 2012. After over an hour wait, the traumas had been taken care of so I was allowed back to my mom's cubicle. Dad was there with her. People with various injuries and illnesses were being treated. A knee cap out of place, a preteen bicycle accident causing a broken leg, middle aged woman with a bladder infection, little old lady with a possible broken hip, and idiot who comes to the ER for eye drops.
Three hours later, my mother's room was ready and she was moved to the hallway to await transport. Two EMTs arrive with gloved hands escorting a tiny little woman of about age 20. Five foot tall, 90 pounds, long dirty blonde hair with about 20 of those mini butterfly clips. Drugged out of her mind and in shambles. Dirty, over-sized sweat pants and hoodie. Her face and hands were dirty and she couldn't walk a straight line.
As she goes for the bathroom, an EMT says to me, "You might want to move. You don't want her touching you". Blech!!! I move and she retreats into the bathroom. I was surprised when she returned in a short amount of time carrying a pee sample cup. She staggers from the bathroom, saunters toward my dad, drops the piss cup and struggles to focus her eyes enough to pick it up. Thankfully, the lid held and none of her Zombie Juice got on my dad!!
EMTs get her situated in bed and move away into the hall. She gets up and comes down the hall again. EMTs put her back. Before five minutes are up, she is swaying her way down the other end of the hall and going into another patient's cubical. This happens several times. I call out to a nurse, "the patient is loose, the patient is loose!" They were slow to respond. I didn't really feel it was my responsibility to corral other patients, especially ones I suspect are Zombies. Finally, an assertive nurse tells her to get back in her bed and stay otherwise they would have to tie her down. The Zombie Girl starts to walk away mumbling that she is going to leave. A security guard and the nurse grab Zombie Girl and battle her to the bed. Zombie Girl thrashes about screaming and yelling, calling the nurse a bitch and saying she hit her in the face.
Thankfully, our nurse arrives to transport my mother to a room. Whew!!! Felt like I dodged the Zombie bullet. As we were being transported to a room, she was being tied down... orrr sooooo I thought. An hour later, Dad drives me to my car and low and behold if the Lil Zombie wasn't stumbling right for our car in the parking lot!! Loose and free!! I have NO IDEA why she was set free to roam. I think she was in the early stages of zombiedom so she didn't try to eat anyone... yet. She looked in a few cars, stumbled and staggered around the almost empty lot at 11:00 at night, sometimes sitting. I ended up calling 911 and reported her before she got hit by a car. Craziest thing I've ever seen!!