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Tuesday, 10 July 2012 20:43

The Day Grandma Went To Court

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In a Competency Hearing in Clarksburg, West Virginia, prosecuting attorney Glen Scarberry called his witness to the stand. She was sworn in, asked if she would tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, on the Bible, so help her God. The witness, who was also the subject of this competency hearing, was a proper well-dressed elderly lady, well-spoken and poised.

The confident attorney approached the woman and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know who I am?" She responded, "Why, yes I do know you, Mr. Scarberry. I've known you since you were a young boy and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, cheat on your wife, manipulate people and talk badly about them behind their backs. You think you're a rising big shot when you haven't the sense to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pushing shyster. Yes, I know you quite well."

The lawyer was stunned and slowly backed away, fearing the looks on the judge's and jurors' faces, not to mention the court reporter who documented every word. Trying to regain his legal footing, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?"

She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and has a bad drinking problem. The man can't build or keep a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. And I do believe one of them was your wife. Yes, I know him."

The defense attorney almost fainted and was seen slipping downward in his chair, looking at the floor. Gasps, mixed with laughter broke the somber tone of the court room.

The ever stoic judge brought the courtroom to silence and called both counselors to the bench. In a very quiet voice he said, "If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll throw you in jail for contempt of court!"

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Read 4469 times Last modified on Tuesday, 10 July 2012 21:27
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