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Wednesday, 18 July 2012 00:35

The Town of Thirsty Is Thirsty No More

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THIRSTY- The tiny community of Thirsty, WV has had an ironic problem since last week's storms hit the town -- hard. They have gone without water but the town has managed not to go... well, thirsty.

Mayor Otis Brewsky decided he was not going to let the town of Thirsty go thirsty.  Mayor Brewsky, who also operate's Otis's Beer, Bait & Ammo decided to provide free beer to town's people (over 21, of course).  

Brewsky explained, "There are only about a hundred adults in town.  I decided to buy the first round by giving all adults a free 22 ounce of their choice. This town is so neighborly that the towns folk keep coming back in and buying the next round. So far, half the town has come in and bought a round for everyone plus bought their own beer. So really, the biggest problem isn't actually a water shortage but an ice shortage. More important than water, we need ice to keep the beer cold."

Since the town's water supply went dry, the beer sales have exploded 500%.  Otis's Beer, Bait & Ammo has had to make extra beer deliveries every day.

"This town has always stuck together.  A town that drinks together sticks together." resident Robin Coors said with a giggle. "We figure if everyone stays drunk we won't miss water."

The only incident reported to Thirsty Police was when Roscoe Reynolds tried to take a shower in beer.  He forgot that his bull was crazy about beer.  Once his bull got a whiff of him he chased him from one end of his 30 acre farm to the next.

Brewsky said, "We had to call in out of towners to help work on the water problem.  Our water and sewage workers got so drunk they couldn't concentrate. They made up a game that every time someone said the word 'water' they all took a drink.  As you could imagine, they all got pretty drunk."

Farmer Jack Ward said, "I'll tell you one thing!  When we ran out of water and our crops were turning, we started irrigating with beer. Now, the tomatoes taste like Red Eye*.  Ha, It kinda gives a new meaning to the term 'stewed tomatoes'. I even got drunk off the zucchini last night."

Thirsty, West Virginia is about to make last call as the water is expected to be flowing sometime tomorrow.  "I guess we'll have time for one more party," said Mayor Brewsky, right before he passed out.

*beer and tomato juice

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Read 8205 times Last modified on Wednesday, 10 October 2012 19:28
Alligator Jackson

Alligator Jackson is a recording artist on 9 Lives Records. His seven southern rock cds have sold world wide.

His books "The Legend of Alligator Jackson" and "Evil Or Divine" have been published by Publish America. His latest book "Money Town" is on 9 Lives Records.

Alligator Jackson was a regular cast member and writer for the internet radio shows "Westlake and The Pig" and "The Fabulous Dancing Pig Show". Along with The Pig, he is part of the political comedy team Piglitical.

His political commentary, music reviews, and other blogs are at www.alligatorjackson.net. AJ has three degrees from Marshall University including a masters degree.

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