"Where was the hate? I was told there would be hate?!" said a completely dismayed reporter from an unnamed news source. "I'm going to have to report back to NBC that we lost our connection or something. They won't accept anything from a Republican Convention but hate.
"With all the rain Isaac is bringing in, all the protesters got scared and stayed home. There is literally no news, here."
Sure enough, not one hateful thing was said about a certain sitting President or his running mate. There wasn't one racist, homophobic or sexist word. Hordes of reporters were left looking over each others shoulders trying to find a way to spin it back to their network or publication.
Ann Romney was the first to speak on the platform. She told of a loving husband, father and businessman. How he came from nothing -- but loved helping others achieve their potential. He was a quiet man who helped others humbly, avoiding the praise of others for doing so.
On Fox News, Juan Williams let his bias show when he dismissed her entire heart-felt speech with the observation, "Mitt Romney's wife, Ann Romney, on the other hand looked to me like a corporate wife. And you know the stories she told about struggle, eh, it's hard for me to believe. She's a very rich woman and I know that and America knows that."
"What a load of BS!" MSNBC host Chis Matthews said adjusting his pants leg. "Why bother having a convention if the Republicans are going to act completely different than we know them to be? They have minorities and women as main speakers tonight, but we know they are at war with both groups! It's killing me seeing these evil, hate-spewing Conservatives walking around holding doors for each other, smiling, and looking like they just came from church! The hypocrites!
"And COME ON! Ann Romney telling us how wonderful her husband is? We all know Romney is the Devil-Incarnate! This is bulls--t! I got tingles down my leg - and I think it's cause I just pee'd myself listening to this nonsense."
The last speaker of the night was New Jersey Governor, Chris Cristie. The Conservative Republican who made drastic, yet successful changes in his troubled state told the audience he knows Mitt Romney. "We have a nominee who will tell us the truth and who will lead with conviction," Chistie said. "And now he has a running mate who will do the same. We have Governor Mitt Romney and Congressman Paul Ryan, and we have to make them the next president and vice president of the United States."
By this time most of the newspaper reporters were doodling and television and radio reporters were taking turns interviewing each other.
"I love the convention," said at least one intern. "I'm catching up on facebook and twitter."