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Tuesday, 18 September 2012 19:59

World Stunned as British Storm French Embassy Over Nude Photos

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The World was stunned yesterday as half a dozen or so British citizens strolled to French Embassy, rapped sharply on the front door and spoke rather sternly to the French Ambassador.

The shocking action was in response to a French photographer who snapped several inappropriate (i.e. nude) photos of Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge while she and Prince William, Duke of Cambridge were vacationing at a private chateau in France.

The royal family was successful in gaining a court order to force the gossip magazine, 'Closer', to hand over all photos by noon Wednesday, and stop publication -- or face a $12,000 fine for each time it defies the ruling.

A representative for St. James' Palace released the following statement, "The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge welcome the judge's ruling".  However, this hasn't calmed the normally stoic British subjects from feeling quite miffed.

Several British subjects gathered at the front of the French Embassy just after Tea Time and demanded in the most polite terms possible, to speak to the Ambassador.  "By Jove, we simply must make our voices heard -- if it's at all possible," said one of the protesters.

Concerned for their safety, the residents of the Embassy were reluctant to open their doors to the gathered crowd wearing bolo hats and carrying tidy, black umbrellas.  However, after 15 minutes, the crowd had not dissipated.  "It was frightening, they were standing outside our gates taking turns pushing the door bell and waiting for our staff to answer through the speaker system.  They kept repeating, 'We would very much like to speak with you, old chap', and "If it's not too inconvenient we would like a moment of your time." It was unrelenting, we had to open the door."

Once the gate was opened, the protesters entered single file.  The spokesman for the group approached the French Ambassador and said, "We are quite unhappy with your French photographer and that cheeky publication!  Those embarrassing photos of our Duchess should never have been taken.  We demand satisfaction!"  He then handed him a sternly written letter and left with the rest of the protesters.

"I tell you, I've never been so scared in my life," said one embassy staff member.  "Embassies around the world are becoming dangerous places.  All you have to do is make a movie about Islam, draw an embarrassing cartoon of Mohammad, or take a nude photo of someone's princess, and our lives are in danger!  One of these protestors even spat upon the floor.  It was so uncalled for!"

American President Barack Hussein Obama quickly issued this apology:

"The United States condemns the continuing efforts by misguided individuals to hurt the feelings of the British Monarch and her subjects -- as we condemn efforts to offend anyone, anywhere.  Video and still cameras have continually embarrassed me, my wife, my daughters and even my dog when he's out doing his business on the White House lawn.  It's time that type of terrorism be put to a stop.  There is such a thing as too much information, and I think I speak for the world when I say -- We, your leaders - be we president, dictator, or royalty -- deserve our privacy.  We are doing everyone a favor by ruling, the least the public can do is to leave us alone as we do it. 

"For this reason, I personally replaced the White House Press Corp with our own cameras a few years ago.  We only release images and video that we feel the public should have.  I'll be speaking to the United Nations to ban the sale of cameras or at least create a registration precess to only allow people with proper permits to obtain them.  Freedom of the Press, like Freedom of Speech must not be abused."

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Read 4030 times Last modified on Friday, 21 September 2012 07:35
Arthur P Coodle

Continuing his Great Grandfather's newspaper legacy, Arthur P Coodle has transformed "The West Virginia Ramp" (formerly "The West Virginia Rag") into the State-wide, Internet Phenomenon, "The Diggerer".

When not digging for news, he enjoys digging for more news.
...and long walks on the beach.

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