The stickers were first reported by church goers in Hamlin who noticed them on grave markers in the small church grave site as they walked from the parking lot on their way to the morning services. "We were quite troubled," said choir director, Paige Turner. "I hope this doesn't become a regular occurrence. Political stickers are annoying enough when they are on the car in front of you. If I see one more 'VOTE FOR EARL RAY & OBAMA' sticker, I think I may start sinning."
Cemeteries hit include private and church grave sites in McDowell, Lincoln, Kanawha, and Putnam Counties.
WV State Trooper, Stan Down spoke with TheDiggerer. "We aren't sure what the motivation would be. At first, we thought it could be angry citizens who wanted to draw attention to the problem of voter fraud. But it's probably a bunch of knuckle-headed democrats who formed yet another group to shore up their dwindling numbers. Everyone knows Zombies don't follow the news, so they would be easy targets for groups like this to persuade."
Madam Secretary of State, Natalie Tennant, released the following statement, "The Secretary of State's Office has no comment on the recent alleged stories of vandalizing. While 13 million names of dead West Virginians still exist on eligible voter registration rolls [LINK], we will not presume to guess how they will vote, or how they feel about displaying political messages on their grave markers."
Brian Savilla, her opponent in the race for WV Secretary of State said, "This is a travesty and the criminals responsible should be brought to justice. My heart goes out to the families who have to come out here and find out that their loved one's grave is damaged. Sure, stickers can be removed, but the thought that their dead relative would vote for Obama would stick with you a while."
Asked if troopers will be keeping an eye out, Officer Stan Down replied, "Yes, we'll have squad cars making extra rounds. We might not find the actual perpetrators, but on election day, with any luck, we may discover the secret of how all those dead keep voting democrat in West Virginia!"
If you see any activity you suspect is vandalism, please contact your local police. If you see Zombies voting in the next election, don't interact with them and don't bother calling the Secretary of States office.
