"It was overpowering," explained freshman, Rachael Circus. "I couldn't catch my breath at all. I passed out right in front of James Durante. And the idiot still didn't notice me."
When students began fainting and the campus security office was over-run by calls, University President, Dr. Suzaanne Shipley quickly implemented long-standing emergency procedures. "It was not only a health matter, it seemed to be an environmental issue, too."
The source of the stench was found in the dorm apartment where Sophomore, Elizabeth Lamb, was sleeping the day away. When the Hazmat Team arrived they couldn't believe their eyes... or noses. The smell was coming directly from Elizabeth's dirty feet.
After a thorough washing (several dozen times) emergency crews gave the all clear and classes were allowed to resume. But not before Miss Lamb was called before her student advisor and given directions on proper hygiene.
"It was so embarrassing!" said the young coed. "I guess I shouldn't have worn my new leather boots 4 days in a row, but I didn't want to take them off - they were so CUTE! I eventually took them off to take a nap before going to work. The next thing I knew, I was surrounded by a bunch of scary guys in tacky plastic suits."
Far from disciplining Lamb, the University is asking her to meet with the school's Chemistry Department. They hope to be able to isolate the chemical composition of the smell and sell it to the United States government for military applications.
