No one could have been blamed for passing by the purple polka dotted, awkwardly built, snowman in the Beckley park and not giving it a second thought. Even when the snow began melting away revealing the toothy grin of a skull -- no one would have suspected anything out of the ordinary - it was Halloween, after all.
All day, the sleepy little neighborhood went about their business ignoring the snowman, even if disturbed them. Suzie Derkins, who jogs in the park every morning, told TheDiggerer, "I thought it was bizarre and in poor taste, but I feel that way about most Halloween decorations. It really brings out the weirdos."
Others spent the snow-day in the park riding their sleds, having impromptu snowball battles, and ...even building snowmen. But this particular snowman, that everyone else ignored caught the eye of one individual. Nine-year Beckley Police rookie, Moe Morton.
"Something just didn't add up to me, and that's saying a lot. I might expect to see something like this in a park in New York or L.A., but not North Beckley. Upon further investimagation, I noticed the skull weren't plastic. So, either this was a medical student prank - or this was my first, honest to-goodness murder investigation. And, oh boy! It was my lucky day!"
Beckley Coroner's findings released to the press, indicate the skeleton belongs to missing First Grade Teacher, Miss Wormwood. The police also believe they have a suspect, a former student of Wormwood's, Calvin Hobbes.
Suzie Derkins remembered Calvin from her first grade class, "Calvin hated Miss Wormwood. She was a great teacher, but he never listened to a thing she said. Whenever she asked him the simplest question, he'd fire a rubber-band at her forehead and bolt from the classroom -- calling himself 'Captain Spazz', or something! He was in his own little world. I guess we should have seen this coming."
Police are on the lookout for Calvin A. Hobbes. He is described as small in stature with wild, blond hair, wearing a red and black stripped shirt. Distinguishing characteristics include a passionate dislike of vegetables. He has also been seen talking to a stuffed tiger.
If you see Calvin, do not approach him. You are asked to contact the Beckley Police Department.