One senior citizen told us she sold her teeth on her local Facebook yardsale and spend the money on tickets, "Who cares! If I win - I can buy soft cat food by the crate!"
A local elementary school bought 300 tickets with money that was raised for new playground equipment. "I know some will question our decision" said Ima Smarderdanu, Chairperson for the School Board. "When don't parents oomplain about how we spend money? I can't wait to see their faces when their children can slide down the new slides - into piles of money!"
The drawing for friday night gave the numbers: 2, 4, 23, 38, 46, 23.
UPDATE: An investigation is being requested by many saying that the numbers may have been manipulated. A spokesman for the group gave this statement, "That can't be right! I mean, look how perfectly in order they are! They go from low to high - and why is the number 23 in there twice? What are the odds".
We contacted our Mathematic's guru, Arnold Pinkerton, who calculated that the odds are "...never in your favor. You didn't win, now stop whining about it!"
UPDATE 2: We apologize for the response of Arnold Pinkerton. However being a math guy - his social skills are pretty non-existant, we're just happy he started using deodorant when he comes into the news room.