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Thursday, 10 May 2012 21:06

Keith Judd Handcuffs Obama in West Virginia

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Texas inmate Keith Judd electrified the political world during the West Virginia Democratic Presidential Primary, racking up 40 percent of the vote against incumbent Barack Obama and sending shockwaves of fervor throughout the Mountain State.

Judd's press secretary Dwight Powers told the media that the campaign was "certainly thrilled to have made such a robust showing in the great state of West Virginia" and that Judd was "eager to carry this momentum and excitement into other parts of the country."

Out of West Virginia's 55 counties, ten saw a Judd majority over the current President of the United States. Boone, Clay, Gilmer, Hardy, Lincoln, Logan, Mingo, Tucker, Webster, and Wyoming Counties all experienced Judd victories almost a backlash of conservative Democrats against President Obama.

"We're very thankful for West Virginia's gracious acceptance of Keith Judd's name on the primary ballot, and this is proof that so-called 'dark horse' candidates can succeed when democracy is given a chance to work," said Powers.

Although Judd is currently serving a 17-year prison sentence in Beaumont, Texas and has been nicknamed the "Dark Priest" within the correctional facility, he claims no disconnection from what he believes is best for the American people.

"We stand at the threshold of a new and unknown age," Judd said during a speech at the Beaumont Corrections Facility recreation yard, "To blindly go forward with the notion that the past, present, and future hold similar circumstances is to damn ourselves into abyssal ignorance."

"Change is undeniably and decisively upon us," added Judd.

According to his official website www.VoteJudd2012.com, the 53-year old native Texan holding Rastafarian and Christian beliefs and has "a birth certificate, a rat tail, and a dream." While his political views are often reserved, Judd has given sneak peeks of his plans and stances within his eccentric and often impromptu speeches.

"The economy is in total shambles, and this will be my campaign's number one priority," said Judd, "When I first arrived in the Texas federal prison system, a man could trade a Snickers bar for an entire pack of Marlboros. Now it takes a man two packs of bubble wrap to get a pack of Pall Malls around here. My [expletive], Pall Malls aren't worth the [expletive] paper they're wrapped in."

The Judd campaign also made it a point to address the protection of civil liberties and the lifestyles of Americans.

"Keith understands that sometimes citizens just want to 'hook-up' with people they meet on Craigslist in exchange for Xanax," said Powers, "and West Virginians can relate to that."

This is the fifth consecutive election in which Judd has run for President, dating back to 1996.

"This is the wakeup call America has been waiting for!" said Judd before returning to his cell.

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