Senator Arnie Ames, D, said, "We decided we couldn't just sit around and wait for the second coming of Robert Byrd. We decided that the best way to have another leader as prolific and galvanizing as Mr Byrd was to clone him. The process of cloning him is a little tricky, though, as we are trying to leave the part of him out that was in the KKK. However, we would like to double the part of him that played fiddle. We think he could help reduce West Virginia's debt by forming a Charlie Daniels tribute band. Of course, it would be named The Robert Byrd Band. But, then again, we think the biggest form of flattery to him is to rename everything in West Virginia after him. We have even considered renaming Charleston as Byrdville."
Scientist Bernard Watson disagrees. "I am not sure that it is ethical to do this. Byrd is almost a religous figure to most West Virginians. I am not sure we should do this. It would be playing favorites and giving Democrats an unfair advantage. To balance things out, we would probably have to clone Ronald Reagan. Otherwise we could throw things out of whack. It would be like going back in time and changing events except we would be changing the future. If Byrds genectics would fall into the wrong hands, evil minds could clone a superior genectic race. A race of superhuman fiddle players with a love for pork."
Ames has stated that the democrats are going to introduce a bill in the next legislative session that would give them the power to clone Byrd. "Things can not get much worse for West Virginia democrats. We are lucky enough to have a democrat as president but that president is also against coal. We need Robert Byrd to come back and make Obama coal friendly. How can West Virginia democrats support a president who is against our top natural resource?"
