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Tuesday, 20 March 2012 18:39

WV Legislature Bans Fast Food Drive-Thru Windows Featured

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CHARLESTON - West Virginia lawmakers ended their 60 day legislative session over the weekend by passing a ban on fast food drive thru windows.  A unanimous Senate vote and an 80-8 vote in The House of Delegates approved that all fast food resturaunts have until December 31, 2012 to disable their drive thru windows.

The ban is a part of legislation proposed by Gov. Earl Ray Tomblin to help fight the obesity and general unhealthiness of West Virginia citizens.  West Virginia was recently selected The Unhealthiest State in America and the Huntington area was cited as having the highest misery index.  Tomblin said "If the West Virginia citizens want to be fat then there at least going to have to get out of their cars to do it.  We are not going to make it any easier for them to be any fatter than they already are.  Walking to get their meals is often the only exercise some citizens get all day."

The bill passed right after the ban on cell phones and texting passed.  Apparently, the West Virginia legislature is seeking total control of it's residents lives.  Sen.  Buford Watson said ,"Because of the lack of education in West Virginia, we can not trust the people of West Virginia to always make the right decsions.  We are tired of a few lazy and uneducated indviduals making our state look like a bunch of hillbillies.  as a Democrat, it is my duty to seize control of West Virginians lives and make their choices for them. 

"You can drive by any West Virginia fast food resturaunt and see a bunch of old broken down cars in line.  If these people walk into the resturaunts and order, it may be the only exercise they get all day.  So I feel that by forcing theese people to walk to get their Big Macs, may just be saving their lives."

Sen. Mike Lucas agreed, "They complain there are not any jobs and that they can not afford gas, but then they sit in drive thru all day.  Well, if they get out of their cars and walk in they would not need as much gas."

But Wayne resident Goober McComas disagreed, "It just ain't right.  It's bad enough that I can't buy Big Macs on food stamps, but now they are telling me I have to walk inside the resturaunt and get my food.  I am an American.  It is my right to have my food brought to me.  If I wanted to work for my food I'd get a job."

The West Virginia legislative session ended with the lawmakers feeling secure that they have protected the citizens of West Virginia from themselves.  Sen. Lucas summed it all up, "What's the point of having this big oversized government if we do not accomplish something.  All we ask is that West Virginians pay their taxes and we will take care of everything else."

UPDATE (4/17/2012): The WV Legislature has bowed to public pressure and removed language in the bill that would ban fast food drive-thru windows.  Instead they will focus efforts on removing salt and fat from popular menu items.

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Read 253988 times Last modified on Friday, 29 June 2012 21:48
Alligator Jackson

Alligator Jackson is a recording artist on 9 Lives Records. His seven southern rock cds have sold world wide.

His books "The Legend of Alligator Jackson" and "Evil Or Divine" have been published by Publish America. His latest book "Money Town" is on 9 Lives Records.

Alligator Jackson was a regular cast member and writer for the internet radio shows "Westlake and The Pig" and "The Fabulous Dancing Pig Show". Along with The Pig, he is part of the political comedy team Piglitical.

His political commentary, music reviews, and other blogs are at AJ has three degrees from Marshall University including a masters degree.


  • Comment Link Kate Price Friday, 13 April 2012 21:06 posted by Kate Price

    I just looked this up on the WV Legislature Site. There was no such bill passed by the 2012 Legislature. This is just a bunch of hype to make people mad during an election year. You all should look it up for yourselves before you believe this silly rumor. Here is the link. I challenge you all to search the truth out for yourselves.

  • Comment Link sherry Friday, 13 April 2012 13:55 posted by sherry

    i agree christi not all heavy ppl is a result from fast food some have medical troubles that make them that way.... further more i was born and raised in wv yes i may be a hillbilly but far from dumb or undereducated... if it wasnt for us hillbillys some of your money power hungry stuff shirt stupid asses wouldnt be employeed now would you ??? NO you wouldnt.. you all are supose to be there for the ppl not tring to control the ppl .. instead all you are worried about is your bank acounts what would happen if we would take your paydays and give it to the orphanges and homelss so they could have something and put you all back to makeing min. wage like the rest of the world ?? how would you feel then??? the thing is you forget your raiseing and let money and power go to your head well i think it is time that the ppl take back there rights and there countrys and let goverment be as it should be.. our great grandparents parent and such made it just fine without you all acting like this is a communist state and as for the above name that made that dumb ass statement well he needs to loose his stamps and be made to go to work because that was the most rediculous hidious statement that he could have made let him dig a few ditches and then come back and talk to us about that... there are a few dumbasses here as thier is everywhere up to and includeing at the capital but that is life and life goes on as for work yes their needs to be more jobs brought in because everyone is worried about the bigger states and citys and not the little towns and ppl cant drive 40 mles or more just to go to work with the way gas prices are so instead of criticeing and acting like we are children try doing something constructive and put jobs here and get your heads out of your buts already

  • Comment Link Christi Friday, 13 April 2012 01:40 posted by Christi

    Is this what WV government does all day is make fun of people??? Not everyone heavy has been sitting in those drive thru windows, they have actual health problems. I also hope that the Ego Power Hungry idiots are a beanpoles theirself and are not fat and over weight from all the nice resturants that they get to eat at unlike us fat foodstamp drive thru people!! Hell, we might as well become a Communist country with the way things are going!! Somethings are just not the governments place to handle. What about all the doctors, nurses, aides, that worked the crazy schedules or midnights and the only thing to get is at a drive thru???? Buisness will drop and damn there is more people on unemployement!!! Way to go Sen. Buford Watson, you are truly a loser!!

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