President Obama evoked Executive Privilege and revoked West Virginia's 149 year status as an independant state. Ironic that it also took place only a week after the entire state celebrated it's birthday. The transition will take months, maybe years -- but the Great State of West Virginia will soon only be known as Western Virginia.
At a Press Conference yesterday, President Barack Obama said, "West Virginia has been in our cross-hairs for some time. There has always been a question of the Constitutionality of Lincoln's act of granting statehood [LINK], but that's not all. This is a state that Michelle has warned about it's obesity problem and it's nearly dead last in every statistic. Elected officials in the Democratic party are obviously neglecting their duties. They have proven they can't care for the people and now they fight me publicly. They complain about my EPA regulations which are necessary to keep the air and water clean and miners safe. Now they are embarrassing themselves by refusing to participate in their own party's Convention. It's unprecedented."
Senator Joe Manchin said, "This is the last straw, I'm going to the voter registration office today and change parties. Not that it will mean anything, there are no longer any West Virginian's to be a Senator of. I guess I'll run as a Republican in Virginia, now."
Earl Ray Tomblin said he was saddened, but he saw the hand writing on the wall. "We've been thumbing our noses at Obama too long for their not to be a retaliation. His Chicago political background is coming out. We'll fight it, but Obama has shown he's unstoppable or at least, undetered."
Nick Joe Rahall could not be reached for comment. His offical website has been taken down and his office phones are going unanswered.
The only West Virginia Politician who seems unaffected is Jay Rockefeller. "Obama was perfectly within his rights to revoke the statehood of Western Virginia. It's not like they had a future, anyway. The Coal era is officially over. It destroys the environment and kills not only the men and women in the industry, but surrounding communities as well. I'm excited for the future of Western Virginia. I think Virginia has much to offer its prodigal sons and daughters as they return home."
Rockefeller says he plans to retire to upper-state New York where the air is cleaner and no-one uses scare-tactics.
Once the furor dies down, delegates from Virginia and former West Virginia will meet to map out transition details. County lines will have to be redrawn, postal codes changed, and elected officials will be scrambing to be elected to newly drawn districts. Citizens may notice little difference - especially since everyone else already knew us as "Western Virginia".