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Friday, 29 June 2012 13:12

It Is So Hot... The Cold Beer Ain't

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HUNTINGTON- A Huntington man became enraged when the 103 degree temperatures turned his previously ice cold beer hot. The man had just purchased a 12 pack of Budweiser at the Speedway on 3rd Avenue. Bryan Montroso claimed he drove to his residence on 24th Street and took a sip of the beer before he left his car. By the time he went upstairs to his apartment his beer had turned hot. Means called 911 and filed a report.

Bryan Montroso said, "The sign clearly advertised, "Cold Beer". I bought the beer for the weekend with the understanding that it was cold. I drank it in a reasonable amount of time, but you know what?  It wasn't cold, it was hot. If I wanted hot beer I would have bought it under a sign that said hot beer. Now, I want my money back and I don't care they have to call Mr. Budweiser, himself.  And you know what?  My weekend is ruined!  I may need to be compensated for that, too.  I'm going to see if I can find a lawyer who will take my case."

There were reports of beer going hot all over town as temperatures soared past 100 and hit as high as 105 in some Tri-State areas.

Tim Brewer, Manager of  Speedway said, "We actually wrote 'Hot Spot' on a cardboard sign and placed it over the 'Cold' in 'Cold Beer' as not to mislead anyone. Our beer cave has the coldest beer in town, but when temps hit over 100 degrees it is hard for any beer to be cold once it's in a hot car.  I hope it doesn't get us in trouble with Cold Spot in town.  I hear they are having the same problem and may have renamed their store "Hot Spot", too."

Huntington Police Sergent John Owens said, "There's not much police can do when it gets that hot. We don't have any mobile beer cooling stations, although I may bring it up at my next review. Anyway, I like cold beer as much as the next guy but when it gets that hot folks should just be thankful they can drink beer in an air conditioned trailer or apartment -- instead of riding around in a hot police car."

To try and beat the heat, retailers are turning thermostats down  on their coolers putting up awnings over parking lots.  Some are even placing signs advising customers they are not responsible for the effect hot temperatures have on their products.

Temperatures are expected to remain around 100 for the remainder of the week.  The Diggerer advises our readers to drink plenty of fluids (not necessarily Beer) and stay as cool as  you can.  

Please, do not abuse the 911 system, but DO call 911 with any actual  emergencies, heat related or otherwise.

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Read 2765 times Last modified on Friday, 29 June 2012 20:24
Alligator Jackson

Alligator Jackson is a recording artist on 9 Lives Records. His seven southern rock cds have sold world wide.

His books "The Legend of Alligator Jackson" and "Evil Or Divine" have been published by Publish America. His latest book "Money Town" is on 9 Lives Records.

Alligator Jackson was a regular cast member and writer for the internet radio shows "Westlake and The Pig" and "The Fabulous Dancing Pig Show". Along with The Pig, he is part of the political comedy team Piglitical.

His political commentary, music reviews, and other blogs are at www.alligatorjackson.net. AJ has three degrees from Marshall University including a masters degree.

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