The Diggerer

CHINA- Hot off their "successful" campaign to shut down a surface mine in Southern West Virginia, R.U.M.P.S. Campaign [LINK] is hoping for continued luck in China.  They are now going against The People's Republic of China to protest a recent decision to flatten 700 mountains to build a new city [LINK].

BOONE COUNTY- The Mountain Mobilization Campaign is one they will not soon forget.  Nothing went according to plan.  First of all, someone forgot to pack 'the stash'.  Then it turned out the Tree-Climber chosen for that important mission (by drawing of straws) was deathly afraid of heights.  A fact they didn't learn until it was time for him to climb down from the tree.  

Then the worst happened.  The resistance group ...met with resistance.

MARTINSBURG- The forecast was sunny, but it felt overcast. Flowers lost their pleasant smell, the birds stopped singing, couples argued for no reason, and babies did nothing but cry. Tuesday, the unthinkable happened.  A GOP Campaign office opened in Martinsburg, West Virginia.

"We were afraid for our lives," said protester Poni Moonglow. "Don't these stupid miners understand we came to save their lives?  Coal is not a way of life -- it's a way of death -- for them, their children and their children's children."

Poni is the great, great grandson from a Kentucky Coal Miner family, so he knows.  "I should be dead with everything my college professor told me about the dangers of coal mining.  I always feel paranoid and hungry. I think it's from the coal poison.  I have to take special herbal medicines to counteract the effects."

Jack Ledger is not new to practical jokes.  Everyone in Jefferson County knows to look twice and take nothing for granted if Jack is anywhere close by.  Ten years ago, he put an alligator (baby) in the church baptistry and nearly gave the Reverend Charles McNutt a heart-attack. The next year when his buddy Tom Farmer ran for Sheriff and won, Jack somehow filled the jail cells milk cows.  Since then, he's been trying (and succeeding) at outdoing himself every year.  This year, he decided to have a little fun at President Obama's expence.

Texas inmate Keith Judd electrified the political world during the West Virginia Democratic Presidential Primary, racking up 40 percent of the vote against incumbent Barack Obama and sending shockwaves of fervor throughout the Mountain State.

WASHINGTON- Unhappy with prospective vice-president candidates, Republican frontrunner, Mitt Romney, is looking to the past for the future. Romney has expressed interest in having a hologram of Ronald Reagan as his running partner.