The 28-year-old San Jose, California, man nicknamed "Jaws" scarfed down 68 hot dogs in 10 minutes in the sweltering summer heat to take home $10,000 and the mustard yellow belt. He bested his main rival by 16 dogs.
The main attraction, however, appeared to be the 800 lb Alligator who was not allowed to enter the competition.
The Diggerer.com ace reporter Alligator Jackson sat on the sidelines drinking beer and complaining to anyone who would listen that he was being discriminated against. Officals said that the self-proclaimed "world's only beer drinking, hot dog eating, guitar playing alligator" was not allowed to compete because he was not a human being. They claimed his large, gapping jaw gives him an unfair advantage.
Hot Dog Judge Calvin Meyer said, "That thing's mouth is too d-mn big, he could consume a whole hot dog stand in seconds. What would be the point in letting him compete? Besides, who could concentrate on guzzling hot dogs when they have a giant alligator sitting next to them devouring everything in front of him? Who knows when he would decide that he would like something meatier than a hot dog?"
Speaking for himself, Alligator Jackson said, "They discriminated against me because I am different. I guess if I can't compete because my mouth is too big -- then Charlie Sheen or Roseanne Barr should be barred from competing as well. Actually, the joke is on them because I was there undercover to for The Diggerer to do a story on how the contest is rigged. They proved it was rigged by not letting me compete. There was big money riding in Vegas on the contest and they knew no one would bet against me because of my greatness and all around excellence. So they barred me so the bookies could make money. The Hot Dog Eating contest circuit is a world of corruption and they cater to the gamblers. This was as wrong as the time the beer chugging contest threw me out because they said too much beer was coming out the sides of my mouth."
EDITOR'S NOTE: We are proud to have Alligator Jackson on our staff, but he was never assigned such a story. He is well known in our offices for eating everyone's clearly-marked lunches in the refrigerator. So, sending him to do a food-related story would be like sending a wolf to interview the three little pigs.
