Inmates Perish in Guantanamo Bay Fire
Guantanamo Bay burned to the ground this morning after an inmate apparently stole matches from a guard and attempted to light his prayer mat on fire. The desperate act was believed to be an escalation of the on-going protest within the prison facility. All inmates were consumed by the inferno, however reports state all guards are safe.
Thanks to Obama I Feel Safe But Not Safe Enough
Dear Golden Dome,
Barack Obama has made my cats and I feel much safer now that my neighbor has to use a few less bullets in his pistols. I'm also happy he is banning all those scary-looking weapons that resemble military rifles. One of my neighbors likes to shoot his rifles off his back deck and it frightens my poor Fluffy close to death! I've even seen it frighten strangers out of our subdivision. The President is right when he says no one needs those.
Can you help by telling us other things we can live without to be even safer?
Mothman Seen Prior to Sissonville Explosion
SISSONVILLE- It's been over forty-six years since he was first reported being seen. Roger and Linda Scarberry saw him first along with Steve and Mary Mallette. On a dark, deserted road in Point Pleasant, WV Mothman made his first appearance in West Virginia. There are many stories related to the Mothman.
Explosion May Have Been Buckwild Prank
Things are heating up around Sissonville. First, news broke that MTV's next 'Jersey Shore' was being filmed in Sissonville with local youths, then everything exploded, literally! But are the two connected? Authorities are looking into it the possibility.
WVU Announces New Mascot to Stop Couch Burnings
MORGANTOWN- Despite authorities cracking down on the practice and making the act a felony; despite university efforts to ban the practice, and despite a video from the WVU Student Government -- couches continue to burn in Morgantown.
The Sodder Family Mystery
On Christmas Eve 1945, Mrs. George Sodder consented to the joyful pleading of her children and allowed them to stay up late so that they could play with their new toys. Tired from what was surely a busy day for grownups, Mr. and Mrs. Sodder climbed the stairs to bed, after securing promises from the children to turn out the lights and lock the doors when they were ready to say good night themselves. The series of events that followed would become a tragic mystery that has troubled the citizens of Fayetteville, West Virginia for more than half a century.
