Teaming up with the USDA, Michelle has taken it upon herself to alter meals served to children in government schools. The changes have been so profound that children have stopped having 'hot lunch' in astounding numbers. "One can hope that the tubby little couch potatoes are simply not eating, missing a few meals would be good for the majority of them," said the First Lady to reporter Wolfe Blister during an intimate, one on one interview with the taunt Michelle. Wolfe himself was later quoted, "her arms are fabulous." Now I'm not an expert on female arms and frankly they've never really concerned me yet this reporter feels it would be faulty journalism to fail to mention the size of the First Ladies backside. Imagine the number of pre-Obama school lunches, per day, it would take to maintain her bulbous booty.
Being no longer content with parenting our children, Michelle has recently decided to tackle obesity in the military. She is putting together a plan to control the caloric intake of our Soldiers, Sailors, Marines and Airman in country and abroad. Having another thing with which to concern them on the battlefield will be a welcome distraction for our men and women in uniform. Airman First Class, Bradley Pax of the 130th Airlift Wing at Charleston's Yeager Airport said, "I'm a grown man, sure, but my Mother can't come with me when we're deployed, so maybe Michelle can fill that void." "Even though I'm responsible enough to fight for our country, it doesn't mean that I am mature to the point of making all of my own choices in life."
Earlier this week in a 'hot mic' moment worthy of her husband, Michelle told an associate that West Virginia was the fattest State in the union and that West Virginians are responsible for the increasing waist lines of our service members. "West Virginians are fat and jobless so they join the military in disproportionately large numbers." The influx of West Virginia fat bodies may be a legitimate concern for the US armed forces but one must wonder if our obesity could have been avoided had only Michelle Obama been elected sooner to make our life choices. I can't seem to locate the exact election she won but I'm sure we all voted for her......otherwise what would give her the authority to do anything on our behalf